Sell it at the Auction

Audrey got a "big girl" bike from Santa. So, since she got a new bike, we need to get rid of her old bike (you know, the "little kid" bike). Last night we were trying to figure out what to do with it. Eric suggested that we take it to the Salvation Army. Here's Audrey's idea: "Let's sell it at the auction. They have junky things there."

FYI: The bike isn't "junky".

It's Not His Fault!

Yesterday I took Audrey to the doctor. We were there for HOURS. NO LIE. It was horrible. Her doctor was out so we had to see another doctor. After we left Audrey and I were talking about how we had to wait for so long. Here was the rest of our conversation:

Me-I did NOT like having to wait for as long as we did.
Audrey-It's not Dr. Robertson's fault, mama! It's all the other doctor's faults for not being there today!
Me-Well, I still didn't like waiting that long.
Audrey-It's not his fault, mama! He can't help it! He's old!

I laughed and laughed and laughed. She didn't even want to see this doctor because he isn't HER doctor!

Where babies come from

Since Audrey and Elise were playing so good together in Audrey's bedroom the other day I decided to sneak into my room to do some laundry. While folding and hanging clothes I turned on the television. There was absolutely nothing on...except Knocked Up. So, I turned it on and began watching it. Now, this movie has given me 2 funnies to share with you.

1. This happened when the movie first came out. Erica and Audrey went to Blockbuster to rent it while Elise and I stayed home. This was the conversation in Blockbuster:
Eric-What are getting mommy?
Audrey (screaming)- Mommy wants to get Knocked Up!

2. This happened this weekend. As I said earlier, I was watching the movie and doing laundry. Audrey walked in and sat down. Just as she did, one of the kids on the movie asked the question, "Where do babies come from?" I changed the channel VERY quickly. Here is mine and Audrey's conversation following the quick channel changing:
A- It doesn't matter. I already know where babies come from! (This was stated so matter of factly with a little smirk on her face.)
Me- Oh yeah? Where?
A- God sprinkles stuff on your head and it goes down into your tummy and makes a baby!
Me- Very good, Audrey!
A-See? I told you I already knew!

Uncle Carrot

The backseat conversation between Audrey and Elise:
A-We're going to see Uncle Wayne and Uncle Garret!
E-Uncle Wayne and Uncle Carrot!
A- In a very serious voice: It's ok, Elise. I used to call him Uncle Carrot when I was a baby too...

Our Presidents

A- Daddy, I can say all of our presidents!
E- Oh yeah? Go!
A- George Washington, Abraham, Bush, and Obama

Jesus

Audrey has the absolute worst morning breath of anyone I have ever known. Here was our conversation about it this morning:

M- Audrey, stop breathing in my face. You have the worst morning breath!
A- (after she thought for a minute) "Well, Jesus made me this way!

Mr. T

I picked up Audrey from school the other day and this was our conversation. (Mr. T is her P.E. teacher)

A- "I know who Mr. T's wife is."
M- "Who?"
A- "I don't know her name but I know she works at my school too."
M- "How do you know?"
A- "Because I saw her cup and it had a big 'T' on it and she is a teacher. So that lady is Mr. T's wife."